15 May 2014

The Spider from Hell

The other night I was sitting at home on my bed (which doubles as my lounge) in a state of undress when I noticed a movement on my bedside table. Not thinking straight, I stuck my head next to my bed to have a look at what it was...

What it was, was the spider from hell- he was huge and hairy and just plain ugly. I grabbed my phone meaning to get a picture- because I knew people would dispute the size of this thing- I probably looked away for a second and he disappeared. 

Now if you know anything about spiders at all you'll know that theres only one thing worse than finding a spider in your apartment- LOSING IT!! I hopped off my bed and ran (more like took 2 large steps) into my kitchen, where I systematically contacted everyone I knew who would know what to do in situations like these...

My conversations with said people all basically went the same way -

Me: "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god theres this thing here and now its just gone- JUST GONE and I don't know where the hell it went... OH MY GOD what do I do????"

Other Person: <death by laughter>

By this time I'm hopping up and down in my kitchen in my underwear almost in tears. That's when mr disgusting spider re-appears on my wall... I get the Target from my kitchen cupboard- run at it (this means hopping on my bed because of course mr spider had to go perch in the corner of my wall and my roof) spray the bejesus out of it and run the hell back into my kitchen where I stood watching it...

This happened a whole couple of times, until the damn thing finally gave up the fight and slipped down my wall onto the floor next to my bed where it proceeded to die (after I finished a bottle of Target on it down there too).