Depression in my brain

I think there are many of us twenty-somethings just getting into a new relationship and not yet sure of how to bring up the big scary D word! We know it's there, we've probably given them snippets of it and they've told us it's not something they believe in or they've said that we're making a bigger deal out of something than it is (Yes I will punch you in the face with any of these). 

I'm thinking, I'll direct this post to those misinformed people who really want to understand but can't seem to get much out of their loved ones because (and this is a huge one that many people don't know about) they don't know they're hurting you. 

Yes, strange as it is and hard as it is to believe, often the depressed person doesn't know that they've hurt you - the snarky comment across the dinner table, how do they not know they're doing THAT?? I honestly don't have answer for you, all I can tell you, from someone who's been through this, is that as a depressive person, you are blind to damage you cause. I remember being angry, sad and mostly I felt like the victim, 'How could you say I'm being ugly to you when you were being mean to ME?'

"Clinical depression, also known as major depression, is an illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. Clinical depression affects the way you eat and sleep. It affects the way you feel about yourself and those around you. It even affects your thoughts." 
http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/untreated-depression-effects#1

I think that depression is more easily explained by someone who has been through it all and managed to come out the other end marginally unscathed, the problem with this for me, is that because it's more easily explained by someone thats recovered, it makes it's almost harder for your s/o to understand because "They're Fine, What's with you?" and unless YOU sit them down and explain to them that it's different for each person and the pain they cause when they say these things could really be curbed by a bit of understanding and a lot of empathy.

Feel free to leave comments in the comments section regarding your mental illness or just some insight into your life. Otherwise email us at content.reflections@gmail.com and we could post your story!

If you, or someone you know, may be clinically depressed, suffer from anxiety or any other mental illness, please consult your doctor as soon as possible.

Please see external links below if you would like to increase your understanding of this illness.
I have not obtained permission and should I overstep any copyright material please do inform me and I will have it taken down :).

https://themighty.com/2017/06/to-those-who-hide-their-mental-illness/
https://themighty.com/2017/06/my-tears-are-not-a-sign-of-weakness/
https://themighty.com/2017/05/why-you-should-start-a-conversation-about-mental-health/

Content Reflections

Desre's Bubble is now Content Reflections.... 

It was time for a change of pace and honestly a new look. I am expanding and recreating the original idea of my blog - it started out as a way for me to express myself and when I was told that my ideas and my expressions were helping people cope with everyday things, it was suggested to me that I collaborate with a friend to get more insights. 

Having given this a lot of thought I have decided to include a few people in my blog so that more thoughts could be added to my collection, because I'm not the only one living with depression, I am not the only person living with anxiety and everyone has their own coping methods and ways of learning to understand themselves. 

This being said, I open the floor to everyone else who would like to be featured in my blog, anyone out there with thoughts about what it's like to live with anxiety or simply what it's like living at all! Life has it's crazy up and down moments and sometimes we need to tell others how we feel but are unable to because your tongue has a way of getting twisted when you try to speak or you have a giant frog in your throat and literally can't - believe me this works just as well. 

So email me a sample of what you would put on the blog, I won't make you an author immediately but I will make sure to give you feedback and/or publish it under your name (or anonymous if you so please). 

content.reflections@gmail.com 

Get those creative juices flowing lovelies :)

Just apologize...

In recent weeks I've seen a few interesting articles and memes on social media about people in the wrong not apologising for their actions but rather becoming more and more distant and drifting into acquaintances and later 'that dude I used to know'. This can not be more accurate if I tried - I'm not sure how the internet knew that I needed to see this stuff but thank you to those who have shared and posted these pictures etc. Sincerely thank you...

Honestly to me it's just raw emotion that goes into a proper apology, unfiltered and pure emotion. Now, I'm not talking about that kak you give your friend when you took their last oreo and that really annoyed them that one time, I'm talking about when you've properly screwed up and betrayed your friend's trust, I'm talking about that time your friend stopped speaking to you forever because you screwed up so solidly that they literally cannot even stand the look of you anymore. I'm talking the kind of apologies we never want to give but always want to receive.

Read that last line again, swallow your pride, pick up the damn phone and just do it. We get that you thought you were right to begin with and then the friend brought it to your attention that you really were just being an asshole and now you feel really stupid but also really shit and you're hoping that it sort of just goes away with the summer, but you and I both know it won't and the next thing you know years have gone past and you haven't spoken to your friend since back when dinosaurs roamed and then it's too late because that friend has realised that they really don't need the energy vampire (yes that's you) in their life and that they are done with you. 

So do it today, phone up the long lost loved one and apologize...

Unashamed, Unapologetic, Untouchable

I have been reading a lot lately about 'strong' women that won't beg for love or won't fight for the love she deserves, she'll just get up silently and walk away or move on because the 'strong woman' is defined as knowing her worth and knowing what she will or won't accept in life.

I (personally) see myself as a strong woman, this does not mean that I don't have feelings or havn't been hurt because, while I know my worth and I know what I want out of a relationship, I have begged for love, I have crawled back with my tail between my legs, I have cried many many tears over lost lovers or even friends. I do not see myself as the world's socially defined 'strong woman' - I am my very own masterpiece and I like the person I am today.

I am loud, opinionated (often too opinionated), gasping for air while laughing my head off, unable to see straight as the tears roll down my face, flawed as fuck and you can be damn sure I am proud of the STRONG woman I am today.

Socially strong woman are these iron ladies who hold their heads up even though the world is falling apart around them, they are made out to be cold and (in my very loud opinion) heartless. I am made to feel ashamed because I cried my heart out when my first 'real' boyfriend broke my heart and I had the audacity to try and fix what I thought I had. I felt belittled by posts I saw on instagram and facebook about strong woman who won't beg for anything because I literally begged my boyfriend a few years ago to take me back. I am now unashamed and proud to say that I couldn't give two shits what anyone might define me as because of so called weak moments in my life - you call them weak, I call them character defining ballsy moves because I put my heart on the line and it was crushed.

I have overcome so much in my 23 years in existence and I am delighted with how I've turned out - I have stumbled, crawled and probably fell face first into a puddle of mud (metaphorically people) so many times I can't even count it anymore. I am a good person. I know what I want out of life and I will not put others down for not wanting the same things as me.

I am a strong, blatantly human, woman and if anyone has a problem with that... they really shouldn't make it mine because it has nothing to do with me what other people *THINK* they know about me.