12 Jun 2014


Okay I can now write a motivational letter thanks to you and you - you know who you are!

I spoke to you again today to so that sort of cheered me up :) Talking to you puts things in perspective and for that I thank you. Without you this place would have been dull and I probably would not still have a job (as hard as that is to admit :P) so Thank you.

My momma is coming to visit me this weekend and that is going to be awesome! We usually have the biggest load of fun - we watch series we eat junk food (hope you're bringing me sweeties momma) and over all we vent like we have never vented before because my mom is my primary source of information and also the only one who will ever know me better than I know myself. See you soon Mommy

Even though there is so much going on around me I still feel alone. I have this emotion hovering over me and I cant expect people to understand that I'm so sad- that I will eventually probably get over it but for now the motivational crap isn't working, I just hate the way people say I need to move on with my life that I'm still young and will find someone else and whatever sure maybe I will but you know what for now I want you and none of that motivational stuff is going to work   because even though I stick a mask on my face everyday, I smile and laugh... hes always at the back of my mind- I always wonder if he's okay and if I will ever see him again... 

I sound pathetic... 

Herewith ends another depressing post- sorry, I'll try make the next slightly happier