27 Jul 2016

Four Years Of You

It's been four years...

Four solid years that I have been in love with you - crazy right? It's been 2 years since I completely lost you, since my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on. You didn't know what you'd done at the time and you probably thought I was being a tad over dramatic when I sobbed when you left but I like to think that you know now what you've put me through - intentional or not I was a casualty in your flight to a better life. 

I still clearly remember the day we went on my first date (I call it my first date because I see now that you could never have been as invested as I was from the get go). I remember your face when I told you my age and I remember choking on my drink when I found out yours. There's an age gap of 17 years and it never once bothered me, in fact it intrigued me - that someone your age could be so young at heart. You charmed me with your deep voice and the way you spoke about your life and enchanted me with your awesome smile. I could find no fault in anything you did or said.

You were perfect, in every way, you were awesome to me. Even now as I sit here and think about all the water under the bridge, having seen that you were born with imperfections and you weren't some alien life form that came down and perfected being human.... I am still madly deeply and utterly in love with all of you. I don't care about the imperfections and I certainly don't care whether you're fit or not. You were perfect for me (or so I thought).

I hope to find someone like you one day - someone who can make me giddy with joy and make me forget that there are any bad things in the world. I also hope to see you again and I hope I am able to be your friend, because talking to you while you're in another country over WhatsApp is quite different to seeing you stand in front of me with this woman who is not me.

I hope that you will someday read this... and come to see that I truly did love you, in ways unimaginable.